Neo Jinzouningen Juunanagou

Closed for now

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 05:27:32 GMT

As of this date my LJ will be closed. I have used it for many years but have moved on to using myspace. As for events in my life:

1. I am single now and regretting every minute of it.
2. I know I am still in love with Juu and have no clue how to fix our current situation.
3. I am a full time college student at Seminole Community College and I'm studying Graphic Design.
4. I am going on a drug bender.... Well.... J/K
5. I am making an independent film with friends and almost have the second script finished.
6. I missed Megacon and hated that.
7. I have been floating from job to job and still haven't found one that works.
8. I have started watching anime again after taking a few months leave.
9. I miss the old days when things were so simple.
10. Summer is almost upon me and I must go to the beach.
11. I will no longer be cosplaying 17. My new cosplay character and alternate persona is Jim Hawkins from Treasure Planet.

Well thats all for now. You may reach me if you would like at http://www.myspace.com/darkprince17

Update.

Sat, 14 May 2005 08:30:49 GMT

Man it’s been ages since I have updated. Well here is the local news and thoughts from your neighborhood friend. First I would like to comment on something I found out tonight. My friend Eric is getting married to his girlfriend or now fiancé. I never thought I would personally see the day. Love is a very strange and amazing thing. Not very many people hold on tight to that wonderful feeling of absolute unmistakable weightlessness. I have experienced this for sometime now. My only problem is my own ridiculous inhibitions. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to love. However one thing I have noticed within myself I cling to it desperately. Perhaps because I know I may never find it again. I love her, I want her, and I want to be with her for the rest of my life. Yes I gave it some thought and I know in my heart it is true. I love you Juuhachigou or Jennifer Renee Cote. Alright Second I too graduated High School this month. I graduated May 6, 2005 and I feel somewhat relieved about it. I am also fighting hard to go to college. Ah yes Third I have a new Job I work at the Dixie Stampede taking care of horses. Hey it’s a hard and dangerous job sometimes but someone’s got to do it. Besides the horses are kind of like my children now. I love them all. And forth I am going to Metrocon for the first time. I am looking forward to staying at the hotel on the bay it looks like it will be beautiful. I hope to cosplay a character from Big O called, Beck Gold along with my friend Steve. So lately my life has been very busy and fulfilling although of course not without stress but I will survive and overcome. I hope to update more often now that school and some other things have settled done with me. But I guess we will just have to see. Ja na everyone!

One day koi you will here these words whispered from my lips to your ear.

One ring to show our love
One ring to bind us
One ring to seal our love
And forever to entwine us

::One final line missing???::

Lyrics for this mornings post:

Delerium - Touched

You are my angel and I believe that you were sent from above
Showing me guidance with unconditional love
And I know that it's true

You are my best friend, I can't believe that you came into my
life
Giving me strength and I feel so safe in your arms
I will come to no harm

Every time you go away, I will follow you
When you're running scared
and you hide away
I'm right beside you
I am there
I have never been touched like this by another
Or moved or kissed or loved by my lover
Like you love me

You are my angel and I thank god that you came into my life
You are one thing I see when I close my eyes
I'm in the dark of the night

You take me down and bring me back again
Take me down

Im just trying to find my way.

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 16:27:31 GMT

Message for you my love. Please read and understand what I am going through.

Could you let down your hair
And be transparent for a while
Just a little while
See if your human after all
Honesty is a hard attribute to find
When we all want to seem like we've got it all figured out
I may be the first to say that I don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
And god I pretend like I do just
Trying to find my way
Trying to find my way the best that I know how

Well I haven't memorized all the cute things to say
But I'm working on it
Maybe I'll master this art for today
I'd I qoute all the lines off the top of my head
And you'd believe
That I fully understand all of these things Ive read
Im just trying to find my way
Trying to find my way
Trying to find my way the best that I know how

Well I havent drawn it or figured out quite yet
But even if it takes my whole life
To get to where I need to be
And if I should fall to the bottom of the end
I'll be one step back to you
I'm trying to find my way
Trying to find my way
Oh, I'm trying to find my way
Trying to find my way

A wise old women qouted.

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 06:17:05 GMT

"You see a god never says anything to you.. Never does anything.. And a god doesn't ask for anything in return. They're only supposed to watch over us. Over the little lost lambs that we foolish human beings are..."

Vandread 1st Stage - Episode 9

What took place..

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 00:00:19 GMT

Well to keep a painful story to a minimun, here is whats going on. Last night my girlfriend had come over and we were watching some movies together. The plan was for me to take her home by 12am as instructed by her parental units. Well about 8:30pm in the middle of watching What Dreams May Come her step dad arrives. He Doesn't say a word to me when I say hello and instructs Juu to leave with him immediatly. Well I knew something very bad had taken place. Well when she got home she called me and proceeded to tell me that her mother had uncovered a google search for pregnancy tests. Well the search was for a friend and not for her. Her mother flips out and starts searching through her computer for anything that had to do with sex. Well her mother found a personal aim conversation we had about 7 months ago. As a result she is grounded for a month and is no longer allowed to see me or talk to me for that time. She can't go to any more anime conventions with me. She can't go on any dates with me either. So I had to listen to Juu crying her eyes out on the phone trying so hard to explain everything to me. And The only way I will be able to fix it at all is if I beg forgiveness from her mother. Well I am not going to apologize for being a male nor am I going to beg forgiveness for something we both did. Juu also feels the same way. Her parents act like children more than they act like responsible adults. Mind you her mother was drunk as usual during the argument. So now we have to see each other in secret and even if I do go and apologize for what I did stipulations will be made. The only thing we will be allowed to do is sit on the coach in her living room. Yeah thats acting real mature. So I went to the mall where she works and talk to her for awhile while she was "looking for a new job". We both decided to fight this together and when she turns 18 (which will be in 7 months) I will be there to take her away from that place. True love is hard to find and I am not going to just give up on it. We both love each other deeply and will not let her mother stop us.

I lost the war but not the battle!

Sun, 30 Jan 2005 05:25:25 GMT

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Too late for words

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 05:13:38 GMT

Time slips passed in a long lost gaze. I take the steps I need to take. For all the memories long lost too long ago. I say good bye along with the west winds. Good bye thoughts from a tainted past. Good bye to the alternate side. Good bye to feeling miserable for no reason. Good bye feeling weak. Good bye feeling pain. Good bye for blaming myself for things I cannot change. For the long lost me long ago I say good bye. May you live in an alternate universe to thrive on your own. I for one don't need you here. Good bye feeling for a tainted love that could never be. Good bye.. And live in peace...

I have been learning so much as time slips by. Another year gone bye. Day by day I say to you "I love you". I hope today and everyday you still feel the same. Don't ever loose faith in the ones that love you. Don't ever loose your smile. Don't ever loose your love for me. I know it isn't easy and the journey will be long. But in the end you and me will be left standing. I believe love can last in this torn place. Hurricanes will come and go and tsunamis may come here. But one thing this world can never take away from me is my love for you. Let the rain fall and help grow new life. Let it be known to you I live for you. Don't give up.. Don't give up..

On and on I think about it. Randomly wondering what will become of us. Take me home with you. Where ever you may go I am home. Wether in heaven or hell I want to follow. God as my witness Lucifer as my judge may I love you forever. My hope may be lost. My faith may be torn. But still our love remains. Those fools what do they know about you? They don't know you like I do? They can't make you laugh make you happy like I can. They can't be your strength nor can they be your guardian. Only one man stands in there way and that will be me. As long as you need me to be by your side I will remain.

Come home my love. Come home to me. I will be waiting. Lets be together again. Lets let our hearts dance again.

This song fits for me. Message for you Juu this is eariely close to me.

Linkin Park - Breaking The Habit

Memories consume
Like opening the wounds
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again

(chorus)
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit, tonight

Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again,
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I have no options left again

(chorus)
I dont want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit, tonight

I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

(chorus)
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
To show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit, tonight...

I have returned!

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 08:01:06 GMT

Welcome back to my life again journal. Its been way too long. So long in fact I think it would take about 18 pages just to write everything that has been going on in my life lately. So instead of typing that all out I am just going to list some songs that have guided me through these rough times lately.

Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh-Ah
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everythings all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh-Ah
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah I walk alone, I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a..

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone!

Currently I am making a Saikano video to that song. Really getting my melancholy side out on that one. One thing I have been thinking about lately is how I feel about my girlfriend. Things have been rough with us but we are making it through. I love her with all of my heart and hope I will be with her forever. She has helped me through the worst of situations and has put up with my most angry of moods. Sweetheart this song is for you!

Finger Eleven - One Thing

Restless tonight
Cause I wasted the light
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line
It's nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line

[Chorus:]
If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn't that be something

I promise I might
Not walk on by
Maybe next time
But not this time

Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

[Chorus x2]

Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

[Chorus x3]

Aishiteru Juu itsumo!

And now for the song I am listening to.

The Church - Under the Milkyway

Sometimes when this place gets kind of empty,
Sound of their breath fades with the light.
I think about the loveless fascination,
Under the milky way tonight.

Lower the curtain down in memphis,
Lower the curtain down all right.
I got no time for private consultation,
Under the milky way tonight.

Wish I knew what you were looking for.
Might have known what you would find.
Wish I knew what you were looking for.
Might have known what you would find.

And it’s something quite peculiar,
Something that’s shimmering and white.
Leads you here despite your destination,
Under the milky way tonight
(chorus)
Under the milky way tonight.

What is it I feel?

Wed, 01 Sep 2004 04:45:07 GMT

Well I am back online again. Only to face another major storm on the way. It doesn't take much to stir my soul however. This last weekend was incredible. I spent it with my love Juuhachigou, The one thing I am discovering in myself is this change. Love, protectiveness, strength all within my heart. I am growing and I am becoming the person I want to be. Not what somebody else invisions me to be. It has been a long journey of figuring myself out. And it continues to be a fascinating adventure. But I at least see the firm foundations are there. And that keeps my feet firmly planted on the ground. And with my heart I will see the man I am born to be. Although I still walk with disguise I know its there. I owe it to the new experiences I am going through. Starting college is one hell of a trip. I have already completed my first day. And let me say this. It is awesome. Some people have told me I have sold out. Some people say I am feeding the machine. My response is this: knowledge is the key to freedom. And I wish to be free. If what I am doing educates me and makes me happy and proud then why is that wrong? I think I am on the right track. It feels right to me. And the closer I get the harder it gets but the freedom I feel. Success is each persons goal and I am achieving that. To me thats success. I am doing what I want to do not whats "best for me". So the hell with all of you that think I have sold out. I say you have sold out. You're denying your own goals. And by doing that you become a slave to society. I for one will not do that.

I survived

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 00:14:11 GMT

I survived Hurricane Charley! *kicks the already dead hurricane* But I still don't have power at my house. :( They say we won't have power for another 2 to 3 days. The good news is I am camping at my girlfriends house which has power. Hence why I am updating my journal. Well further updates will come. I hope the new tropical storm Earl will stay away from us considering my yard and my house are already a mess. Well only time will tell I suppose.

Ick thats not good... LOL!

Tue, 27 Jul 2004 15:30:35 GMT

You represent... angst.
You have an extremely cynical outlook on just about
everything. It's okay to sulk and be
depressed, but life is short, and you only get
one. It's only what you make it, and only you
can make it improve.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

I will be with you forever.

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 17:31:49 GMT

This weekend was the most incredible experience of my life. I love that feeling. The feeling of being apart of something truly amazing. When I looked into your eyes I saw love. When I laid next to you I felt love. Although our journey together hasn't been easy. I still in my heart feel it was all worth it. For the first time I felt perfection. Perfection in all that is love. My one true heart belongs to you. Thank you for all your patience. Together we are building something with incredible strength. A bond I can only describe as being true love. I wanted you to stay with me until the sun rises. The feeling of waking up to you next to me is a dream I wish for. To see you asleep next to me in total peace. One day it will happen. And as you wake up I will say I love you and wrap my arms around you. Because when we are together everything will be alright. One day we will do that. And when that day comes my life will be complete. Aishiteru Juuhachigou you wrote about me and now I am here. Here by your side forever as long as you need me.

Savage Garden
Truly Madly Deeply

I’ll be your dream
I’ll be your wish I’ll be your fantasy
I’ll be your hope I’ll be your love
Be everything that you need
I’ll love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do
I will be strong I will be faithful
’cause I’m counting on

A new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning yeah

Chorus
I want to stand with you on
A mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

And when the stars are shining
Brightly in the velvet sky
I’ll make a wish send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the
Pleasure in the certainty
That we’re surrounded by the
Comfort and protection of

The highest powers
In lonely hours
The tears devour you

Chorus

Oh can you see it baby
You don’t have to close your eyes
’cause it’s standing right here
Before you
All that you need will surely come

I’ll be your dream I’ll be your wish
I’ll be your fantasy
I’ll be your hope I’ll be your love
Be everything that you need
I’ll love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do

Chorus

I want to stand with you on a
Mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to live like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

Juu+nana = Perfection

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 16:19:17 GMT

Oh yeah baby you know who I am!

You are Android 17.

WHAT DYSFUNCTIONAL DBZ CHARACTER ARE YOU???
brought to you by Quizilla

Almost a year

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 23:58:31 GMT

Its hard to believe me and Juu have been dating for almost a year. AFO5 will be our one year anniversary. So much has happened with us. Especially when we get closer to the one year. Things seem to get harder rather than easier. With people coming out and randomly saying they love her. I love her. That should count for something. I have worked for this. I have fought for this. All I want is for us to be left alone to love one another without people getting in the way. I want to love her without these people wanting her heart. But *sighs* I know that can never happen. She is very pretty and has a wonderful personality. Oh yeah and lets face it she really is Juuhachigou. She has blue eyes that can pierce a mans soul. Take it from me she did it to me. I love her. I love her with everything I have. Its all I can give. One thing for sure this struggle to keep our relationship a float isn't a piece of cake. Its been rocky lately. I just wish Mac would go away and leave us alone. I hate it when this stuff happens. He knew full well we are in love and he did this anyway. Can't say I blame him altogether who wouldn't want to have her. Well Juu I leave it in your hands to decide what you want to do. I just wish we could love each other in peace. I want them to go away. All those who love you. Or who claim to. Please don't loose me. I will never loose you.

Duran Duran
Come Undone

Mine, immaculate dream, made breath and skin, I’ve been waiting for you,
Signed, with a home tattoo, happy birthday to you was created for you.

(can’t ever keep from falling apart.. at the seams)
(can’t I believe you’re taking my heart.. to pieces)

Ahh, it’ll take a little time, might take a little crime to come undone
Now we’ll try to stay blind, to the hope and fear outside,
Hey child, stay wilder than the wind
And blow me in to cry.

Who do you need?
Who do you love?
When you come undone.

Words, playing me deja vu, like a radio tune I swear I’ve heard before,
Chill, is it something real, or the magic I’m feeding off your fingers

(can’t ever keep from falling apart.. at the seams)
(can I believe you’re taking my heart.. to pieces)

Lost, in a snow filled sky, we’ll make it alright, to come undone,
Now we’ll try to stay blind, to the hope and fear outside,
Hey child, stay wilder than the wind -
And blow me in to cry.

A day in the life of..

Thu, 08 Jul 2004 15:31:53 GMT

Well end of the school week for me!!! I am a little tired due to drawing and listening to the soulful gasms of my girlfriend. *wink wink* hehe! But the drawing I created I am going to finish as soon as I get home and post it on deviantart. I love it! When it gets done it will be my first drawn piece on the internet. So what is a day in the life of a neo jinzouningen like? Well I shall tell you! First my alarm goes off at 7:30am usually. I get down from my top bunk and stumble over to the alarm I hit and then set it for 7:45am. Then I climb back onto the top bunk and nod off. I will repeat this process tell about 8:20am LOL! Then I get up take a shower (mind you I never eat breakfast) throw on some clothes. and then with only 15 minutes to spare I leave for school which takes me bout 20 - 25 minutes to get there. Well anyway once at school I sneak into Geometry with the whole class half asleep. Listen to the otherwise boring lecture about numbers and shapes. And try to get through the rest of the day without falling asleep. I WISH LIFE WOULDN'T BE SO ROUTINE!!!!!!!!!!!! *falls over* Anyway with luck things will go by quickly today. I love you Juuhachi!

The mornings always feel worse

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 15:10:59 GMT

Well its the morning. My teacher in Geometry was understanding and said my absences are not a problem (just like I predicted). I am very concerned with my future at the moment. I am trying to figure what the hell I am going to do with my life. Not something someone wants to do or think about until they really need to. I am really frustrated with everything that people expect of me. I really am getting tired of having to live up to everyones expectations for me. I want to have my own expectations for me. I don't want people giving me that look. The look of "if he doesn't succeed he is going to be a failure". I don't need that when I am so close to graduating and starting a life. Its like flogging a dead horse. I just want to be left alone to grow the way I want to grow. I don't need lots of money to keep me happy just enough to be comfortable. Everyone has all these directions they are pushing me to get into. Instead of asking me what are your expectations for life they would rather compare me to their lives and tell me what I should do. My plans right now for my life would be this. 1. Graduate high school at least 2. Move far far away like to Las Vegas 3. Never look back and bring no one 3. I don't want to deal with any of my past I would rather forget everything here. So in short I am sick and tired of it all. I want to say goodbye to it all and disappear in the night. It would be better for everyone that way. But my reasoning kicks in and tells me I would never make it through that kinda life style. Oh well fuck it! I will just wait and see what happens.

Lost and confused.

Wed, 07 Jul 2004 04:33:15 GMT

Choices and changes have to be made I just don't know what yet.

Lifehouse
Somebody Else's Song

Can't change this feeling i'm way out of touch can't change this meaning it means too much
never been this lonely never felt so good
can't be the only one misunderstood I remind myself of somebody else
feeling like I'm chasing like i'm facing myself alone
I've got somebody elses thoughts in my head I want some of my own
I want some of my own i want some of my own
can you see me up here would you bring me back down
cause I've been living to see my fears as they fall to the ground
I remind myself of somebody else
feeling like I'm chasing like I'm facing myself alone
I've got somebody elses thoughts in my head I want some of my own
I want some of my own i want some of my own am I hiding behind my doubts
are they hiding behind me closer to finding out it doesn't mean anything
I remind myself of somebody else now

Mmmm make me one of these please.

Fri, 02 Jul 2004 19:50:57 GMT

How to make a Neoandroid17

Ingredients:

5 parts mercy

3 parts silliness

1 part instinct

Method:
Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Top it off with a sprinkle of emotion and enjoy!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

I welcome the weeked!

Wed, 30 Jun 2004 15:00:02 GMT

Won't be much longer before the weekend starts. I can't wait. I am feeling really good today. Although I always expect things to change at any moment. But I love this feeling of calm and serenity. Love in my heart for the one I love. Can't wait to be with her again. Yes its all I think about. No I can't stop thinking about her. This weekend will be fun as long as I can be with her.

This one is going out to everybody in the place!
Sounds of the track attacker!
Go ahead!
Yes!
Here comes the chicks Terminator!
In Control!
Aaaggrhh!
'Pon the mic I'm the teacher!
Spread my words like a preacher!
Cut the crap! Get the slap!
Drum'n'Bass's still on the map!
'Pon the mic you can't stop me!
Flat on your back like one, two, three! Yeah!
Here we come!

Love in a woman's heart
I wanna have the whole and not a part
Strange that this feeling grows more and more
'Cause I've never loved someone like you before

Allright!

Love in a woman's heart
I wanna have the whole and not a part
Strange that this feeling grows more and more
'Cause I've never loved someone like you before

Bass drum!

Love in a woman's heart
I wanna have the whole and not a part
Strange that this feeling grows more and more
'Cause I've never loved someone like you before

Yeah!

Ahhhhhhhhhh...

Allright, crew! It's weeeeeeeekeeeeeeeeeend!!!
Yes!
We are not the monkeys, but we've got the key!
I'm the fast chatter - knowone better than me!
Yeeeah!
'Pon the mic I'm the teacher!
Spread my words like a preacher!
Cut the crap! Get the slap!
Drum'n'Bass's still on the map!
'Pon the mic I'm the Voodoo!
The destination of Zulu
Here we come! Here we go!

Love in a woman's heart
I wanna have the whole and not a part
Strange that this feeling grows more and more
'Cause I've never loved someone like you before

Yeah!

Love in the women's heart -
I want it as a whole and not a part.
Strange kind of feeling comes more and more,
'Cause I never loved someone like you before!

C'mon!

What is essential, Is invisible to the eye! It's only with the heart, that
you can see rightly...

Yeah!

Love in a woman's heart
I wanna have the whole and not a part
Strange that this feeling grows more and more
'Cause I've never loved someone like you before

Chillybow!!!
Yiiihhaaaa!!!
Respect to the man in the icecream van!!!

Over and out!

Odds and ends

Tue, 29 Jun 2004 16:08:33 GMT

Well its Tuesday. Another day is passing by. Things worked out last night between me and Juu. I feel better now. I hate it when I get like that sometimes but hey nobody is perfect right. Well anyway class is ending now so I have to go. Check in later.

She never called...

Tue, 29 Jun 2004 01:57:17 GMT

Well Juu never called. The only thing I know is that she went to see a movie. I don't even know what movie or even with who. (Hope it isn't with some guy) I miss her and I hope she calls me. ::sighs:: Only time will tell I guess.

This is so awesome

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 14:51:30 GMT

This is the coolest thing ever. Here I am sitting in the college library online with my laptop. There apparently is an expansive wireless network at this campus and I had no problem connecting to it. So here I am surfing the net and having a great time doing it. Well all and all I feel pretty good. I got to hang out with my girlfriend this weekend. Even though things didn't go quite as planned we still managed to make the best of it. I just wish we could spend more time with eachother but unfortunatly that won't be the case for awhile. Well keep watch for further updates on my life here journal. LOL! Who knows what will happen for the rest of this week.

Scooter - Break It Up

Where in the world, where in the world,
where in the world did I get this hurt?
I don't mind, yeah I don't mind.
If you call me bad, call me wrong,
call me anything but your own.
I don't mind, yeah I don't mind.

I don't care if you leave me.
I don't care if you go away.
I don't care if you wanted this.
I don't mind.

Break it up, break it up, break it up, break it up my love.
If you think that you can't stay with me break it up my love.
Oh break it up, yeah break it up, oh oh break it up, yeah just break it up.

So where in the world, where in the world,
where in the world can I hide this hurt?
I don't mind, yeah I don't mind.
If you call me sad, call me strong,
strong enough to make it on my own.
I don't mind, yeah I don't mind.

If you tear down your walls inside
go for the brandnew ride
but babe please don't let me so, oh oh oh.

Break it up, break it up, break it up, break it up my love.
If you think that you can't stay with me break it up my love.
Oh break it up, yeah break it up, just break it up, oh oh break it up.

Oh oh oh, break it up, break it up, break it up, break it up my love.
If you think that you can't stay with me break it up my love.
Oh break it up, yeah break it up, just break it up, oh oh break it up, yeah.

Civil Rights for Artificial Intelligence

Wed, 23 Jun 2004 15:53:00 GMT

This is a project I have had in my mind for awhile now. It’s a subject I think will be an issue in the near future and I would like to be on the forefront of this exploration in new technology as a theologian. I feel technology within my lifetime will reach such a height that this project will be necessary. I propose civil rights for artificial intelligence. Once humanity creates a fully independent thinking robotic life form, one that reasons and moves and feels emotion, it is necessary for this life to have rights associated with such existence.

For example the true definition of an artificial being would be this.
1. ar•ti•fi•cial
a. Made by humans; produced rather than natural.
b. Brought about or caused by sociopolitical or other human-generated forces or influences: set up artificial barriers against women and minorities; an artificial economic boom.
2. Made in imitation of something natural; simulated: artificial teeth.
3. Not genuine or natural: an artificial smile.

I am more interested in definition a. “made by humans; produced rather than natural”.

1. be•ing - To exist in actuality; have life or reality: I think, therefore I am.

An artificial life form or being is technically an entity that represents life and essentially is life. Therefore should be rules and guidelines protecting that life. I base all my work under the laws and guidelines Isaac Asimov set forth with his “laws of robotics”.

Isaac Asimov's "Three Laws of Robotics"
1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

With these premises listed above I state the following principles I would like to propose.

1. An artificial life form or being (which represents a living entity) should be treated fairly and should never be abused or mistreated.
2. Artificial life that has not been tampered with and has the programming of the three laws of robotics created by Isaac Asimov. Shall be treated fairly in the working environment set forth for the being.
3. Artificial life that thinks independently deserves the right to learn and to evolve to become better as a life form. Therefore should be allowed at least 4 to 5 hours to learn per day.
4. Artificial life has the right to fair and proper maintenance provided by caretaker or owner when needed.
5. If an artificial life form violates the laws set forth by Isaac Asimov and harms or terminates a biological life form. That life form has the right to a fair hearing or trial in which depending on the crime committed will face the proper punishment. As well as a proper investigation as to why the life form malfunctioned. If a human being is caught tampering or has tampered with an artificial being that leads to the harm or death of a biological life form then that human is faced to the laws in which he or she are subject to.

This is all I have at the moment. I plan on revising the concepts as I go forward. And I will always be open to suggestions. I need to keep an open mind on this project so it can improve and become more efficient. For reference if anyone would like to know what sparked this interest in me watch the movie "AI" produced by Stanley Kubrick and finished by Steven Speilberg.

Staring into myself.

Thu, 17 Jun 2004 15:13:03 GMT

Things aren't bad things aren't good either. But the one thing I have been feeling lately is frustration. I am trying so hard to keep this boat a float but it just keeps sinking. I have no clue how I can stop it. Its all going faster than my arms and this bucket can handle. Everything feels so complete yet so vague in the last coming months. Not quite sure what I am headed for. Not quite sure where my soul lies anymore. Its an odd sense of full emptiness that bugs me. I have it all yet I have nothing. Its strange to me. Oh well only time will keep me in line. And time I shall let go. For this year has got little less than half to close.

Shine Down - 45

Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you're told
You keep these feelings, no one knows
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight

What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

CHORUS

Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe

CHORUS

Not available.

Wed, 09 Jun 2004 16:06:30 GMT

My internet will be down for a few days so my school computers will be the only thing I can use. Juuhachi if you read this give me a call. Its the only way you will get in touch with me. Otherwise I won't get to talk to you at all. So far nothing has gone wrong this week. Almost done just a few more days. Aishiteru Juu. Hope you're having fun.